Yesterday was a tough day.
Why?
For starters, it was the first day that I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning. This was not due to depression, but instead due to exhaustion. I think the exhaustion was caused, in part, from emotions. I recently visited my elderly parents, and although they are positive, their lifestyle is not what I wish it was--I wish they were closer, more open to our help, and honest about their feelings related to this challenging time. I wish this virus was not such a threat to people in their age group. We also had an Open Circle with students who expressed their feelings about the virus--in many ways, their expressions were heart wrenching. That has stayed with me. As this stay-at-home time continues, children are more and more aware of the many special events and daily happiness that they are missing. This was difficult. And, on social media and in the newspaper, the number of deaths and people who have lost loved ones is growing--many people are hurting. Meanwhile, at the national level, the President Trump and his cronies continue their mantra of self-serving hate, ignorance, and cruelty. As I write down these reasons for exhaustion, I'm not surprised I desired more rest.
I did get out of bed, had a couple cups of coffee, and started the teaching day with zest. The initial lessons went well. I listened in to the school committee meeting which was positive, yet as a Middle School teacher discussed her students' reactions to the pandemic, there was some sadness at the struggles some students and families are facing. This is not a simple situation for many. After that, I got online to teach my last class to face a computer glitch--few appeared to show up for the lesson. After waiting for several meetings, I cancelled the meeting. Later I found out that there was a meeting link error. One family was upset and I had to respond to that reminding them that we have to be flexible during this new virtual teaching/learning time since there are often unexpected glitches, detours, errors. The family responded to that explanation with sensitivity and care.
After that I had to attend an appointment that would typically be routine, but this time, the appointment related to a skin check was fraught with all kinds of special rules, routines, a mask, and a less comprehensive check than usual given the virus. Just facing what was once a routine task as a complex, worrisome event furthered the challenge of the day.
How do we make meaning of the tough days and how do we survive this challenging time with good energy and positive mindsets and efforts?
We can't expect too much of ourselves--we have to do what we can and be satisfied with that. I can teach my four or five lessons a day with positivity--it's good to help students move ahead with their educations and it's great to give them some semblance of a learning community with teachers and classmates that care. I can do this.
I can cook for my family, enjoy their company, and encourage their at-home pursuits related to health, their professional/school work, and their interests.
I can give family members a call, listen to their stories, and encourage their efforts as well. I can do the same for neighbors.
And, I can get creative by building, making, advocating, and responding to this virus with positive creations that will improve and inspire life now and into the future. I can also participate in pastimes that bring me challenge and pleasure such as online games, good movies, walks outside.
I have to focus on what I can do, and while I'm sad about what I can't do, I can't focus on that right now. Onward.
