My first reaction to the hearsay was worry and frustration because the change would impact the work I do, and it would have been helpful to hear about it in a more formal and inclusive way. Also the hearsay reminded me of so many changes I've encountered during my career that were done to me rather than with my voice and the voice of colleagues.
Now that we'll attend a meeting to formally learn about the change, I did a bit of research to understand the situation. The change may not be all bad as there may be some positive aspects to it, however, there's still the sharp sting of people choosing for us rather than with us as educators. When people make decisions about what you need without your consult, it belittles who you are, what you do, and the investment you've made in your career and your daily work. You feel much more like a peon in situations like this than a valued professional.
Further, when you face decisions that may feel like a step backwards rather than a step ahead, there is similar frustration. Some may say, why aren't you more involved in this situation, and my reply would be that I've tried for many years to be involved, but I've been shunned, turned away, ignored, and ridiculed from that arena time and time again so I simply gave up attending meetings and sharing ideas since it was like landing at a dead end time and time again.
Going forward, I have to remind myself that no one educator can fight all battles and forward all opportunity in schools--there will be areas of capacity and areas of no capacity. That's the way it is. In those areas where capacity is less, it's best to step back unless you truly feel you have the time, energy, and will to push for change. In areas of great capacity, there's much you can do to engage, empower, and educate children well.
Areas where I have capacity include the following:
- positive math teaching/learning
- positive science teaching/learning
- reading development and growth
- project based learning
- creating a strong, caring class community
I will continue to advocate for inclusive, transparent, and respectful communication, decision making, assessment, analysis, and development because I believe that is the best way to build a dynamic teaching/learning community.
I will continue to study and learn in order to teach well and develop in areas where I have the capacity to do well, and I'll continue to advocate for systematic change and development that leads to better, stronger, and more inclusive school communities too. Onward.
