Sunday, October 20, 2013

What Are Your Expectations?

Often at the route of conflict is unshared expectations.

You expect one thing, and the associate expects another; yet the two of you never share those expectations, hence conflict occurs.

Therefore, before conflict arises, questions should be exchanged?

"What are your expectations for this endeavor?  What do you hope to achieve? "

"What are your expectations for my work, leadership, collegiality, daily efforts. . . ."

The same is true in family life. We bring a palette of expectations to the table--expectations born of our experiences, learning, and attributes, and often when those expectations are not expressed, shared, or discussed conflict arises. Conflict we could easily circumvent by the question, "What do you expect from me?"

Children in school thrive when they know what's expected. Current goals for placing the objective on the board prior to each learning experience, lesson, or module actually do make a positive difference. Children, like adults, like to know the expectation, and they profit when they have a chance to discuss that expectation, goal, and objective prior to the learning activities and share.

One fear that may inhibit people from sharing expectations is the fear that they might not be able to live up to those expectations. The truth is that we rarely live up to, and hardly ever, exceed the expectations of others, instead expectations become a kind of melting pot where through conversation and collaboration we meld our hopes, objectives, and goals creating a new collective objective.

If you've lived with a person for a long time as I have, you've seen that in action. The expectation-combination results in the life you share, a little of you, a little of your partner, and a lot of new result--expectations that you didn't even imagine at the start.

Hence, good collaboration starts with sharing individual expectation. It should be a first effort in any new relationship, new endeavor, or new objective.