Sunday, October 27, 2019

Secrets have a long and harmful life

Many years ago I was accused of behavior that was troubling. Thanks to the wise counsel of a lawyer and others, the severe accusation was dismissed after a very troubling, harsh episode of pointed accusation that included a harsh tone, words, and secrets.

While the accusation was dismissed, the secrets of who and how the accusation was made was never revealed to me though there are those in my midst that I work with daily that know the truth that lies behind the secret. As you can imagine, PTSD arises in me now and then related to the harsh treatment I encountered as the secret behind the who, what, where, and why of the accusation remains. I have asked at least one person in the know to reveal the true story, but that person refuses to share the information.

The point in this story is that secrets take on a life of their own, and typically that life leads to anguish, distrust, loss of potential and broken relationships in many ways.

I have mostly put this episode behind me, but it reveals its ugly head now and then as little clues about the secret are revealed.

I may never know what truly happened beyond my role in the situation, and I will never fully trust the many people involved since none were willing to share the true story with me. I will, however, continue my commitment to be transparent and not be secretive in my dealings with people. You sleep well at night when you don't have secrets and you are transparent with the best intentions with regard to what is right and good for people in mind and action. None of us know it all, can be all things, or have a monopoly on truth, yet we do well when we avoid secretive, negative behavior that detrimentally affects others. Onward.