I often face challenge with regard to my questioning and share.
These challenges make me realize that words are heard with all kinds of ears--people hear through their perspectives, mindsets, philosophies, experiences, strengths, and challenges.
For example, the other day, I complimented a child in the class, and the response from the other children was, "What about us--we do that?"
I then asked, why did you respond that way, just because I'm complimenting one doesn't mean that the rest of you aren't doing well." I went on to say that my own sons respond the same way.
This reflection points to our need to think about who is hearing our words and how they hear--what lens do they typically take when they listen, and how do they respond.
I grew up in a family where we spoke plainly--we essentially cut to the chase and said what we felt without any extra words. We debated nightly at the kitchen table about all kinds of issues. I've continued that type of debate with family, colleagues, and friends throughout my life, yet sometimes it's too blunt, too short, and too quick to be heard with ease or to be understood well. Sometimes I have to change the way I speak for better communication.
That's rarely a problem in the classroom as I have a close relationship with my students. They know I'm there for them. The same is true for close colleagues and family members, but for those more distanced from me, it can be an issue sometimes--the communication requires a more formal approach.
Now for those of you who are communication experts, this is communication 101, but for those of us still reaching for that just-right communication with everyone we work and live with, this can be a reach.
As I think of one colleague who generally errs on the other side of my familial, quick, blunt speak with a more flowery, formal style, I can see how her style works for those distanced from her. It's factual, straightforward, and typically polite, however, it's rarely friendly, opinionated, or inclusive. While her style works well with a more distanced audience, it can serve to distance those closer to her.
There's so much to learn in this big world of ours, and good communication is an important skill to work at, learn, and impart to your students as well. It comes back to those old time lessons of the formal letter vs the friendly letter, a good lesson to update for our world today. Wondering now about exactly what those updates would be--what is the best way to communicate in 2018? Good question.
