We all know the difference between authentic positivity and dishonest positivity. Authentic positivity is energizing. One colleague in particular is exemplary in this regard--she's mostly authentically positive, and that positivity acts like a magnet pulling people towards her often. I love the way her honest positivity inspires and energizes me. It's contagious.
On the other hand, if we are positive without honesty or authenticity, our positivity actually has an opposite effect--dishonest positivity leaves people with distrust, questions, and a less confidence and energy.
As I consider the multiple issues that affect teachers each and every day, I'm thinking about how we can address those issues with positivity. What consistent remarks can we turn to when issues arise, remarks that are positive and proactive.
The Promise in the Problem
First, we can immediately say to ourselves, "What is the promise in this problem?" What need, potential, or change is this problem revealing? For example a problem I faced yesterday was small, yet to address this problem and find a solution is to help us a lot if a bigger and deeper similar problem arises. The promise in that problem is that we need to solidify the routine so response is quicker and more targeted for problems like that.
A problem with a bus issue last week pointed to the need to more accurately confirm bus requests with good lead time and better paperwork. We may need to put both a verbal and written bus confirmation process in place. The promise in that problem is that we can create a better process.
A problem with processing grant funding points to the need for the system to think about how they will deal with grants overall--what processes are in place for grant management and oversight? Is the system interested in acquiring more grants, and if so, who and how should be move forward in that regard.
A problem with staffing pointed to multiple questions that will be posed at a building management meeting by an educator who sits in on that meeting and then answers will be relayed at a regular student service meeting.
Smile
Sometimes when you are working with issues with students, a good resolve is to simply and thoughtfully smile. True smiles have a magical affect on students, and is one positive way to begin dealing with children's serious issues.
Questioning
Questioning is another positive way to deal with conflict. For example if a person in your midst is upset, you can simply say,What is troubling you? How can I help? These simple phrases calm people down and demonstrate support.
Reaching out to Others
I find that school issues with students are often remedied by reaching out to family members. Stating the problem and asking for their support can work to help a problem. A simple note that states the facts of the matter and then asks, How can we work together to positively affect this situation? truly helps to mitigate troubling situations.
Restating the Problem and Writing it Down
If a person is angry, you might say, "Can you tell me again why you are so upset. I want to write down your words so I can specifically reflect on your frustration." This helps to focus the situation and gives evidence to reflect on later. This approach leads you beyond the individual's emotion to the exact issue that underlies their frustration, anger, worry, or dismay.
Mindfulness
I've historically not been a big fan of mindfulness because of the way some people use it--some people use it to quiet others rather than to build greater capacity. Yet, I know the value of good breathing, counting, quiet reflection, and other mindfulness techniques to focus and better resolve issues. This is yet another approach.
There are multiple positive ways to solve problems and energize others in your midst. Honest, authentic positivity does reign, and the more we can build that affect into our repertoire, the better we will be. Onward.
