A friend told me about a person in his life that is lost--a person who can find no meaning. I found that hard to understand since as a teacher there is limitless opportunity for meaningful work and the greatest challenge is prioritizing those opportunities and choosing the best amongst them.
What holds my friend's friend back? Why is he stuck?
First of all this stuck man was not nurtured in ways that build a strong person. His early years and care-takers were misguided with regard to what really matters in life. They saw children as a thing apart and didn't put much time into their care. I think of Gladwell's book, Outliers, and the notion of concerted cultivation which is to really get to know who a child is and nurture that child holistically towards a good life. That was missing from the man I speak of.
Throughout the man's life he carried the weight of a childhood that was privileged but lacking in the elements of essential care and love--a heavy burden.
Also this man carries the weight of not easily fitting in to life's categories of acceptance. He's not the beautiful women, the strong man, the good leader, or the inspired poet, but instead he's a lost man who wears his losses like a detour sign that says, "Don't go here; don't know me; don't be my friend." Thus people are often repelled by this man. This lack of popularity also has created a wall to meaning for this man.
Yet the man if of high intelligence, keen vision, and magnificent desire. If he can find a way to invest those energies into meaningful work he will be found, discovered, able to live a good life. What could he do? He could tackle a big question the world holds and invest in that question. He could look for a lost people and nurture those people in ways that makes a difference. He could people something or write something that uses his past losses and new found energy and inspiration to move others.
To find meaning in life is essential--to make your days count is imperative. There are so many books that can help us find that path for me those books include Joseph Campbell's Pathways to Bliss, and Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning.
It is essential that we find meaning in the work we do and that we follow paths we believe in, paths that have merit for our lives and the lives of others. In what ways is this true for you?
