Looking back at those trying chapters in my life, I am glad that I met the chapters by seeking counsel and support always with my eyes on finding the truth of the matter and understanding what was really going on. Never did I give in to the struggle by giving up on my values or beliefs, however I did recognize truths that fostered positive change and development in me. As in all struggles, rarely is one to blame, but instead it is the conflagration of multiple shortcomings, past experiences, challenges, ambition, poor choices, ignorance, and more.
What did I learn in those tough times? I learned a lot including the following:
- Empathy is essential
- Err on the side of assuming positive motives and intent
- Don't be quick to judge and also don't be quick to trust--sometimes peoples' motives are not well intended or directed
- Focus on the mission of your work and endeavor
- When in doubt, ask questions
- Keep a written record of events
- Be respectful and considerate
- You always can wait to respond or act--time is the friend of conflict resolution
- You may not understand the root cause or rationale for struggle, it may take years ahead to fully understand what really happened
Bad times happen and we weather them when we approach those times with our best selves, support, and direction. During those tough years, I found strength and inspiration through the words and actions of many. I hope I can be a support to those who struggle too.