Recently I was given an expectation that demanded as much as 100 hours of my at-home time without pay or support. The expectation landed on me like a boulder, and I resented the expectation. I thought a lot about this. Why did I resent this extra layer of work so much?
First I resented the extra layer of work because it took away from my family time. Next I resented the extra layer of work because I had little to no say in the decision making process, and finally I resented the extra layer of work because it made me feel a lot more like a robot than a professional educator. I love to work as part of a committed team, but I never enjoy being someone else's robot or do-it. That feels inhuman and reeks of disrespect and lack of care.
I am grappling with the the entire event and trying to make meaning out of it. I am listening to others who have a similar expectation and watching how they are dealing with the unreasonableness of this expectation. In hindsight, what should have occurred, in my opinion, is that educators should have been given at least a week's time to work on this expectation in a manner that they chose, a manner that would help them to complete the task in meaningful and dedicated ways--ways that would enable the teacher to use the materials to teach children well.
However, since that did not occur, I will do my best to meet the expectation with the time and capacity I have. I will give it a few hours a week and not beat myself up since to complete the expectation with the time and care needed demands substantial effort--the kind that most teachers give each week to their curriculum, but also the kind of time that teachers run out of since we simply can't work around the clock.
I am trying to see the promise in problems--what meaning and wisdom can I cull from this event? First, I need to ensure that when I assign homework or ask my students to do something that I am reasonable and equitable. I want to listen to my students and their families, and work in ways that empower and engage them. I don't want my students to feel like robots or do-its, but instead I want them to be full members of our classroom learning team--members with voice and choice over how they learn, and what I can do to help them. I want to keep the servant leadership model alive in my classroom so that all stakeholders are working as invested team members who help one another to learn and develop. The experience of unreasonable and inequitable expectations has given me a new experience of what it feels like to not be considered a valuable member of the team, and to not be heard. I know how awful this feels and how it rips at your energy and abilities, and I don't want to be a teacher who does that to my students.
Next, as I think of teacher leadership, teacher development, and teacher excellence, I want to continue to support more distributive models of leadership where teachers have authentic voice and choice when it comes to goals, initiatives, time, and schedules. I want to respect the different ways that educators themselves learn, and the various needs they have when it comes to choosing, preparing, and implementing curriculum programs. I understand that there will be variety in leadership philosophy, methodology, and expectations, but simply to understand what I value and what I don't value helps me to choose how I will spend my time and who I will spend my time with. As I've written in previous posts, I want to aline my work with positive, proactive, and respectful professionals--the kind that seek to build
Too often we forget to include stakeholders in the discussions of bettering what we do. For example, if children are not learning a concept or completing a project well, we may not think to sit down and ask the students, "How can we do this better?" To forget that is to lose opportunity to better what we do.
Developing programs in ways that are reasonable, equitable, and respectful takes good time, teamwork, and positive effort and intent. As I continue to think about how I will meet the expectation named above, I will use what I've learned from this problem to benefit the way I teach the students in front of me. Onward.
